


Friends

by penguingal, Schnaucl (Onetrackmind)



Series: Three Part Harmony [2]
Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Incest, Light Bondage, M/M, comment porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-09
Updated: 2005-10-09
Packaged: 2017-11-21 04:51:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/593635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguingal/pseuds/penguingal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onetrackmind/pseuds/Schnaucl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don and Charlie struggle with the ramifications of the change in their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Friends

Normally Charlie didn't wake until at least noon if he could help it but his sleep had been restless. There were going to be questions, so many questions. Would Don be okay when he woke? Horrified? Would he kick Charlie out of his bed and his life? Could Charlie live with it if he did? Would Don still love him? He'd said he did last night, but words were easy in the post-coital afterglow. And if he _did_ love him, what did that mean? As a brother, as a friend... as a lover? Could Don handle those feelings?   
  
Charlie'd had years to make peace with the fact that he was in love with his older brother. Besides, even if he married someone like Amita and had 2.5 kids, a dog, and a white picket fence, he'd never be normal. But Don could be, if he wanted to. Was Charlie being selfish by asking him to give all that up? Would it be more selfish to lie, to say it had been a mistake and now Don should go and live his normal life? No, he didn't have the right to make those kinds of decisions for another person, no one did.   
  
He shifted a little so he could watch Don in the early morning light. _Please don't hate me. More importantly, don't hate yourself_.   
  
Don had tossed through most of the night and he stirred a little when the bed shifted next to him. Slowly, he blinked open his eyes, taking in the first early rays of sun through his window. He turned his head, finding the deep, slightly worried eyes of his brother. Don twisted to face him completely and smiled a little, almost shyly.   
  
"Hi."   
  
Charlie relaxed a little when Don smiled at him. "Hi," he replied, trying to keep his voice soft instead of anxious. He offered a shy smile of his own and reached out to caress Don's cheek, shivering a little at the feel of Don's stubble against his fingers. "Are you okay?"   
  
Reaching out, he grasped Charlie's hand in his own, tracing the long almost delicate fingers and the lines on his palm. He was stalling. Because really? He had no idea how to answer that question. Part of him was elated, almost downright thrilled. That part wasn't hard to identify. The rest of him alternated between quiet horror and out and out revulsion. Exactly what kind of person was he?   
  
"I honestly don't know, Charlie," Don finally said, his voice quiet. "Last night... last night was, odd. It's - I think it's gonna take some time." And yet, he brought Charlie's hand to his mouth, kissing his palm lightly. It seemed like the thing to do and Don let himself operate on instinct.  
  
Charlie nodded, trying to control his gut level terror. It wasn't an outright rejection and he had to remind himself that while he'd had years to get used to this, Don had had less than 24 hours. And Don had spent most of his adult life upholding the law, not breaking it.   
  
"Do--do you need some space?"   
  
Don looked at Charlie, his eyes grateful for his brother's understanding. This really should be more awkward. He needed to get out, clear his head, then maybe he could think straight. Coffee would be useful, too.   
  
"Yeah... listen, can - can you stick around? I'm going to go for a run. When I get back, I'll have breakfast and coffee and we can talk. Okay?" He rested his hand on Charlie's shoulder, as much contact as he dared initiate right then. The bed was soft and Charlie was warm next to him and it would be all too easy to let himself sink into them both.   
  
"Sure," he said, relieved his voice sounded much steadier than he actually felt.   
  
He waited a few minutes until after Don left, then took a long shower, trying not to think too much about what Don might be thinking and feeling, trying not to give in to the terror and despair that gnawed at his stomach. When he got out of the shower he actually smelled more like Don than before but there was no help for it now.   
  
He got dressed in his clothes from yesterday, not comfortable enough to risk borrowing anything of Don's. His clothes probably wouldn't have fit right anyway and right now the last thing Charlie wanted to do was emphasize his role as Don's little brother. But he'd wanted to be dressed and ready in case Don decided he needed more space. He'd offer to drive Charlie home, because it was the responsible thing to do, and Don was always responsible. Charlie would decline because he knew that tense ride would break him. So he'd have to call a cab.   
  
Then there was nothing to do but wait. He sat in Don's kitchen, safer ground than the bedroom, arms crossed and holding himself tightly. His fingers itched for chalk or marker, some complex mathematical problem to offer a distraction. Math he knew how to handle, but this? He could probably scrounge up some paper and a pencil but he wasn't sure his hand would be steady enough to write anything legible. Nothing to do but wait.   
  
Once outside his building, Don half-jogged to the end of the street, pausing there to stretch out his legs. They were cramped from... from... okay, he was just going to think it. They were cramped from fucking his brother. He waited to see if that thought would cause a reaction of some kind, like vomiting on his shoes, but his stomach stayed where it was, the sky was still where it was supposed to be, and as far as he could tell, this was still the correct reality. Giving a mental shrug, Don started off, setting a pace to do an easy 5 miles. That'd give him a good hour or so with a cool down walk for coffee and some breakfast sandwiches to sort things out in his head.   
  
He started laying things out in his head as smoothly as his feet hit the road. Here were the facts as Don understood them. One, Charlie was his brother. Two, Charlie had a previously unknown preference for men. Three, Charlie had been in love with him for years and managed to keep it from everyone. Four, Don had, in fact, fucked his little brother last night. Five, it had been the best sex Don had in years, ever since he and Coop had called it quits. Six, what they had done was illegal, probably immoral, and would certainly kill Dad if he ever found out. What he didn't know was this: Did he in fact take advantage of Charlie last night, vulnerable as he was? And why exactly had the sex been so good when he hadn't been able to find someone like that before?   
  
Don was pretty sure the answer to the first question was no. Charlie had been right there with him the whole time, perhaps even more cautious than he had been to protect both of them. That brought Don up short a moment, because since when had that been Charlie's role? The answer to the second question was also almost as simple, Don trusted Charlie in a way he rarely trusted other people. He'd trusted Coop with his life and now he did much the same thing with Charlie in a way. Don chewed on his lip, then why couldn't he shake the feeling that something was still out of place?   
  
He blinked, pulling his eyes off the pavement and found that his legs had carried him right back to where he started without him having to think about it. He stretched, walked to the coffee place on the corner, and headed back to the apartment. His heart pounded in his chest. He hoped Charlie would still be there, that he could handle the time in his own head after last night. Don figured he'd find sprawling equations scrawled on every piece of scrap paper he had when he opened the door, and the thought made him smile.   
  
He found Charlie huddled at the kitchen table, looking like a small, lost child. But despite that, to Don, it still looked like he _belonged_ there. He walked over, put the food on the table, and gently took his brother's face in his hands, pressing their lips together.   
  
Charlie's eyes stung and he blinked furiously against sudden tears. "I didn't think you were coming back," he confessed.   
  
"Charlie," Don started, shaking him gently, "I still live here. I'd have had to come back eventually." The slightly pained look on Charlie's face told him that his brother was serious and it sobered him up, quick. He was still running high on the endorphins from his run, the promise of imminent caffeine, and the feel of his brother's lips against his. "Besides, when have you ever known me to back down in the face of something difficult?"   
  
Don reached in to the bag, pulling out tea for Charlie, coffee for him, and a couple of bagel sandwiches. He trailed his fingers down Charlie's arm as he sat next to him, a touch that before last night would have seemed innocent now taking on something deeper. He considered that. Maybe that was what was rankling him, the idea that things had irrevocably changed between them? Could they ever be just brothers again?   
  
Now that blood wasn't rushing away from his brain, Don had some questions he thought it might be safe to bring up. "So, how did you - I mean yeah, how did you first know? About how you felt about me?"   
  
Charlie relaxed fractionally and dug into his breakfast, stalling for time as he tried to figure out the answer to Don's question. He wrapped his hands around the cup of tea, warming chilled fingers. Just the flavor he liked, exactly the way he liked it. It warmed his heart a little, that at some point Don had obviously noticed how he liked his tea and cared enough to get it right.   
  
"Little things added up over time, formed a pattern," he said at last. "When I had your attention it was the best feeling in the world. When I didn't--I'd do whatever it took to get it back again." He ducked his head. "I guess maybe some things haven't changed." He trailed his fingers along the edge of Don's table. "And then I realized that every guy I'd ever been interested in reminded me of you in some way. Maybe he looked like you, or moved like you, sounded a little like you. Only it never really felt right, because they weren't you."   
  
Don's fingers came up to meet Charlie's, just the tips overlapping while he spoke. He should have been startled by the way he was behaving, like some kind of love-sick teenager, but it just didn't even enter into it. With Charlie, Don was safe to be completely himself and he somehow knew that Charlie would love him no matter what. Being that loved, that wanted, that _needed_ by someone was extremely tempting. Don had been looking for a long time to find that and it had never quite happened. But this was his own flesh and blood and to give in to that temptation would mean risking a lot. There was a point of no return in this and Don was suddenly afraid that they were already past it. But denying that there was at least some part of him that longed for this was simply not an option.   
  
Don sighed. All his questions seemed ridiculous suddenly. What did it matter how or when. Incomprehensibly anguished, he met Charlie's eyes again. "Why? Why me, Charlie?"   
  
Charlie's lips twisted into a bitter smile. "I wish it weren't, for both our sakes. But especially for yours. You are a good man, Don. An honorable man. You've spent most of your life upholding the law and last night -- what we did was a felony. I looked it up.   
  
As for why you? Because you _are_ good and you _are_ honorable. And you are smart and kind and strong and tender. You make me feel safe, make me feel wanted and--and loved. And every time you smile I get this feeling in my chest and it's like I can't breathe and sometimes even math can't distract me from thoughts of you."   
  
Felony. The word echoed in Don's brain. If anyone ever found out... in a flash he saw his career, his livelihood, everything taken away from him and bitterness gripped at his heart. It was so unfair! After all this time, he'd finally found the one person that could love him for all of the things he was afraid to be and just because it happened to be his brother, there was no way they could ever be together.   
  
He sighed. "There's no happy ending to this, is there? We could try sneaking around behind everyone's backs, including Dad's, but the secrecy would eventually eat away at us, destroying what we were trying to protect. We could claim that last night was a mistake, pretend that it didn't really happen, but that lie would eat at us, too. We could take it for what it was and decide that it's better for both of us if we leave it alone, but that aching loneliness would break us slowly over time... I should go. Put in for a transfer. Just take myself out of the equation. Dad certainly doesn't need me to be around all the time and you... maybe you're better off if I'm somewhere else..."   
  
"So that's it then? Five minutes ago it was 'have you ever known me to back down in the face of something difficult?' and now it's turning your tail and running? That's bullshit. Do you really think it was _better_ for me when we didn't speak for years? Do you think it would be better for _Dad_? When I asked if you needed some space I didn't mean in another fucking state!"   
  
Don's eyes went wide. He didn't think he'd ever heard Charlie quite that passionate about anything but math and it was sobering.   
  
"There are some things that are too hard for anyone to face, Charlie." Don's voice was quiet, dangerous. "Dammit, I _don't_ need fucking space and I _don't_ need any fucking time. I know exactly who and what I want, maybe for the first time ever, and all that will do is destroy us both. I can't let that happen, Charlie. I can't be the cause of that. Because before I was... whatever the hell I am now, I was your big brother, the one that looked out for you. And I'm still doing that, Charlie. I have to do that. It's part of who I am and no matter how much or how many different ways I love you that will never change."   
  
He'd been speaking in a low rush, and now that he'd run out of words, he was just left, slumped slightly sitting at the kitchen table, the inches between him and Charlie seeming far too wide to ever be crossed.   
  
"Then _be_ my big brother. Don't cut me out of your life again, Don. I don't think I could take it. And maybe you missed it, but I'm an adult. I'm fully capable of making my own decisions including decisions about my --" oh fuck, so many minefields now. "Sex" and "love" were both loaded terms at the moment. "Sex life," he said finally.   
  
"And you think I could take it, being away from you? It's not what I want to do, but you tell me what choice we have? You said it yourself... what we did is a felony and if you looked that up you also had to have looked up what some of the consequences of it are. And even if it weren't, this choice, choosing us, means risking a lot of pain and confusion for everyone we care about, including each other. And it's just. not. fair. You're all I could have ever hoped for in a brother, a friend, AND a lover and how in the hell can I ever let that go?"   
  
He didn't let himself think, he just got up and kissed Don gently, passionately. "You don't have to let it go," he whispered. "Love is--is always painful and confusing. Don, I could spend the rest of my life fucking guys who remind me of you and never being happy. Or we can try this and--and maybe it works and maybe it doesn't but at least then we'll _know_. And if it doesn't work then we'll still be friends, still be brothers. Please Don."   
  
And with that kiss, Don crumbled. Deep down, he knew that it wasn't as easy as Charlie was making it sound. They'd never be able to just go back after this. A shuddering breath, arms around Charlie's waist. There was just no escape.   
  
"I need you, Charlie. Please?"   
  
"I need you, too. I've always needed you." He gently cupped Don's face in his hands, tilting his brother's chin up so that he had to look at him. "I love you, Don." He swallowed hard. "I'm _in_ love with you. But I promise, no matter what happens, you'll still be my brother. I--I need you to believe that, okay? Like you need me to believe that you'll still love me."   
  
"Charlie, I could never do anything _but_ love you. And you're right, nothing can ever change the fact that we're brothers, no matter what happens down the road." Don tightened his arms around Charlie.   
  
"Have I mentioned lately that the fact you never give up is one of the things I love most about you?" And he found himself almost wanting to smile.   
  
Charlie laughed a little, relieved. "I never give up on the important things." He kissed Don again, gentle, tender. "Let's finish our breakfast and then I can show you just how grateful I am that you aren't going anywhere."   
  
Don sucked in a sharp breath, blood running almost painfully to his cock at the low purr in Charlie's voice. He looked at his half-eaten sandwich balefully.   
  
"I'm uh I'm not really all that hungry, actually..."   
  
Charlie laughed more freely this time. "That's what I like to hear." He took Don's hand and led him into the bedroom. He drew Don close, exploring his brother's mouth with his tongue. He tasted like coffee and -- Don. "Maybe I should cuff you to the bed, make sure you really aren't going anywhere," he suggested, grinning wickedly.   
  
He smiled into the kiss, relishing the feel of Charlie's tongue in his mouth. "I'm not going anywhere," Don said, his voice low, "but it's a thought. Maybe I should cuff you, see what it takes to get a mathematician to beg." He knew a wicked glint had crept into his eyes, matching Charlie's grin. Don backed him to the bed, still rumpled from their previous encounter, and he realized they were most definitely wearing too many clothes. He bent his head to lick at the tender spot just behind Charlie's ear as he ran his hands under the hem of his shirt.  
  
Charlie shivered and moaned at Don's touch, tugging at the hem of his brother's shirt. "You'd prefer that, wouldn't you?" Charlie asked between kisses. Don helped him pull his shirt off and Charlie used lips and teeth and tongue to blaze a trail along his collarbone. "Prefer to see me bound, stretched out before you and completely at your mercy."   
  
"Oh, God..." Don moaned at the mental image and at the way Charlie's mouth felt on his skin. Yes, that was definitely something Don wanted to see sometime in the near future. But just now, having control was the last thing on Don's mind.   
  
"Prefer?" Don smirked. "I'm not sure about that..."--he reached for Charlie's shirt--"I certainly wouldn't _mind_ , but"--took off Charlie's shirt, took a deep breath--"for now, let's try it your way."   
  
Stepping back, Don pulled a set of cuffs from his dresser along with the key and handed them to Charlie. "I'm all yours."  
  
Charlie accepted the cuffs and key with a grin. He examined them long enough to know that they were designed so that Don could slip out of them if he needed to. Still... "Need a safe word, Don," he said seriously.  
  
Don stopped, blinked. He didn't have one. He'd never needed one before, those cuffs ever only having seen someone else's skin. And this was Charlie... but he was right. This was new territory for him and he wasn't putting panic out of the realm of possibility. He picked the only thing that made sense.   
  
"Coffee... coffee to stop. Cream to slow down. Okay?" His voice shook slightly and he bit his lip, praying Charlie would understand that this wasn't easy but that he _wanted_ to do it.   
  
"Okay." He kissed Don then, gently, meant to reassure, not to enflame. "I won't do anything you don't want me to do, Don. And I absolutely will not think any less of you if you want to slow down or stop, okay? In fact, I'll admire you for it, God knows it's difficult to say no when you're with someone you want to please."   
  
Nodding, Don lifted his eyes to his brother's face, gratitude and relief written there. He did want to please Charlie, very much, so he pulled him close again, reaching to undo his pants. They worked simultaneously, Charlie sliding his hands down Don's hips, his jogging pants hitting the floor with a soft woosh. They paused only to lick and touch all those points that they'd discovered last night, finding new ones along the way. Naked at last, Don looked at Charlie, panting, eyes dilated in pleasure, and he slowly sank to his knees, drawing the head of Charlie's cock into his mouth.   
  
Charlie gasped and moaned Don's name, his hands sliding up Don's shoulders to cradle the back of his head. "Don, please," he whispered.   
  
Glancing up from his spot on the floor, Don hummed lightly, almost innocently, like he didn't know what Charlie was asking for. Fingers tightened in his hair and he relented, sliding his mouth down as his other hand ran up the backs of Charlie's thighs to his ass. He could feel Charlie quivering, trying to maintain control and it was just what Don wanted, to get him wound up until he couldn't take it anymore before giving himself over to him.   
  
He whispered his brother's name over and over with increasing urgency. Frantic, restless hands in his hair as his brother drove his pleasure higher, his entire world narrowed down to the points of contact between their bodies.   
  
Don could feel Charlie's muscles tensing under his hands and he licked his way along his brother's length one last time before sitting back on his heels and looking up at him. Charlie was flushed, panting, his eyes screwed shut in concentration and Don smirked. It was perfect. He kissed his way back up Charlie's body. When he reached his lips, Charlie's eyes were open again, and Don stepped back, offering him his wrists, an unmistakable fire burning behind his eyes. "Take me, Charlie. Please?"   
  
Charlie got Don situated on the bed, kissing each wrist before fastening the cuffs. He made sure Don was comfortable, that he felt safe before he claimed his lips in a fierce kiss. He spent a long while there, exploring Don's mouth, battling gently with his brother's tongue.   
  
Then he turned his attention to methodically mapping every single inch of Don's skin that was within reach. He slowly worked his way down, occasionally drifting back up to one of Don's more sensitive spots to make sure he was still interested.   
  
The feel of the cuffs on his wrists was strange and he instinctively pulled at them once before settling into Charlie's kiss. And soon, they were forgotten completely as Charlie's mouth licked and sucked at his skin, the sensations shooting along his spine. Don twisted and arched into the touches and caresses as much as his bound hands would allow him. He was moaning, panting, and growling, but he refused to beg. He just couldn't go that far, not yet. So instead he closed his eyes and just let go, letting himself feel.   
  
Satisfied that he'd thoroughly mapped every available inch of Don's body Charlie worked his way back up to Don's erection, reveling in the sounds Don made, the responsiveness of his brother's body to his touches. He allowed himself to look up for just a moment, see Don's eyes tightly closed, face flushed, mouth open. He was everything Charlie had always imagined he would be. He licked delicately at the head of Don's cock and then swallowed him whole.   
  
"Oh, fuck," Don moaned, hips bucking up into Charlie's mouth. He pulled fruitlessly at the cuffs, wanting to feel Charlie's hair under his hands, wanting to urge him on faster instead of this slow torture, and he whined in frustration.   
  
Charlie grinned, his hand steadying Don's trembling thighs. But then he turned all of his considerable focus and energy into giving Don the release he so obviously craved.   
  
The tension pooled at the base of Don's spine and he fought it off. Not this way. He wanted to come with Charlie buried inside him, craved that connection. With an effort, he managed to get his mouth to work. "Ch - Charlie, I-- _oh, God_ \--please, I want - want you in me. Want to come that way. Please..."   
  
Most of all, he wanted to give Charlie everything. He wasn't going to hold anything back. Not anymore. "Please," he repeated.   
  
He didn't ask if Don was sure, he knew his brother well enough to know he would never suggest it if he weren't positive that was what he wanted. And delay at this point would just be cruel.   
  
He retrieved the supplies and prepared Don as quickly as he could. He was still thorough; he wouldn't risk hurting Don, not for anything. He met Don's gaze, his brother's brown eyes almost black with desire. He pushed in just a little bit, moaning at the hot tight sensation. "God, Don." He forced himself to hold still until Don was adjusted, his body trembling with the effort to _not_ move, to wait.   
  
He tensed, the feeling of being penetrated odd after such a long time. Sucking in a deep breath, and then another one, Don forced himself to relax. He tugged on his cuffs once before remembering he was bound to the bed, so he squirmed a little instead, his legs tightening around Charlie and trying to draw him closer. He wanted so badly to feel his brother's sweat-slick skin under his hands. That denial was sweet torture as it made his nerves hyper-sensitive to all the points of almost contact as Charlie hovered over him.   
  
When he was sure it was okay to proceed, Charlie slowly pushed in and began thrusting, slowly at first, then with increasing speed and urgency. He kissed and licked at what skin he could reach, whispering his brother's name as he sought that magical spot in Don's body, trying to ignore the competing demands of his own body as he was rocked by wave after wave of pleasure. But he couldn't give in, couldn't let go, not until he'd tipped Don over the edge.   
  
Don hissed as Charlie slid the rest of the way in, taking a moment to adjust to being filled so completely. And then Charlie was moving and his whole world was reduced to sensation, heat and friction. He was gasping and moaning, mumbling incoherently, ready to fly apart, but he needed just a little more before he could let go.   
  
"Nnnnguh... m - more. H - hands. Touch... _please_ ," was all he could manage, but Charlie understood, wrapping his fingers around Don's straining erection. He stroked firmly, shifting the angle of his thrusts. White light exploded behind Don's eyes, a shout ripping from his throat, as he arched up into his bonds. The world greyed out momentarily and when it cleared he could feel Charlie thrusting hard and deep into him, moaning his name.   
  
It didn't take long after Don's orgasm for Charlie to follow him over the edge. He cried out Don's name, clutching his hips hard enough to bruise. He caught himself with both hands, panting over Don's body as he waited for the shudders to subside.   
  
Don angled his neck, leaning up as much as he could manage to lick the salt lazily from Charlie's skin. His own heart rate slowed and he fought the urge to giggle madly as he rode the waves of post-orgasmic endorphins. He nuzzled Charlie gently, making sure he was awake, and pulled pointedly at the cuffs. Actual words were still beyond him just then. But fun was fun, now it was time for Charlie to let him gather him in his arms and hold him close as they came down.   
  
"Sorry," Charlie whispered. He carefully withdrew from Don, disposed of the condom and undid the cuffs, checking each of Don's wrists for damage, just in case. "Should get a washcloth. Get us cleaned up," he said, though what he really wanted to do was collapse and curl up with Don.   
  
"Later," Don said, wrapping his arms around Charlie and pulling him close. He arranged Charlie next to him and blinked sleepily. "I don't have anywhere I have to be just now." Leaning forward, he pressed a small kiss to Charlie's lips. He could still taste himself there and it made him smile. "Do you?"   
  
"No, I don't have anywhere I need to be," Charlie agreed quietly. He kissed Don's shoulder and closed his eyes. "Love you," he murmured.   
  
Don smiled. "Love you back."   
  
He settled himself, Charlie in his arms and drifted off to sleep. This time there were no disturbing thoughts to plague him, just the knowledge that Charlie would be there for him when he woke and that they had the rest of the day together. The image of Charlie bound to his bed floated to him and Don grinned in his sleep.


End file.
